as a child what coping skills did you use to get attention or to protect yourself
May 5, 2005
12:39 pm
jastypes
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Here'south another question from Celebrate Recovery. As a kid, what coping skills did you employ to become attending and to protect yourself?
For me, I got attention by existence very, very good. And to protect myself, I used escapism. I would hide in my room, in a cupboard, or exterior when there was disharmonize in my home. I've journaled about this and find information technology then interesting that my patterns have developed over the years, but basically stayed the same. At present I people delight, stuff feelings, and avoid conflict like the plague! I can see I have a lot of work to practise.
jill
May 5, 2005
3:31 pm
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jastypes
This interests me alot, since I have been having therapy for a couple of months. I had to stop for a few weeks, but am going once more next calendar week. I was doing so well with information technology.
Alot of my issues I had idea stemmed from me existence 'just the way I was'. I had never questioned why I had become such an anxious, paranoid obsessive person. I just spent my fourth dimension battling with it all and ending up depressed.
Since I have been talking with my therapist, she has pointed out alot of different ways of looking at the stuff that happened in my childhood, to the point where one day I actually managed to feel compassion for myself.
As a child, I was always the pretty blonde one. Merely no-one looked past that. This led to self destructive behaviour. Promiscuity. Drinking.
When I had my outset of many disassociative experiences at the age of ten, my mother did not believe me. This led to paranoid thoughts as an adult.
I despised attention, but later craved it, then regretted information technology.
To protect myself I disappeared into elaborate day dreams, and sometimes I used to talk to myself every bit well. Now, I procrastinate and wish for stuff and fantasise about how things could exist..
There you have information technology. I am a mess
~charlie~
May 5, 2005
3:49 pm
tracylyn
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Jas this is a great thread....
I know for me information technology was pretending everything was perfect.
My father was an alcholic. Our dwelling house was in caos much of the time because of it. I never discussed his alcoholism with my friends growing up. I never talked near beingness upwardly all night listening to my parents fight. As far every bit everyone else knew, my home life was perfect. It wasn't until I was an adult that I finally started openly talking about my childhood and the way my father was.
Deny, deny, deny, deny!!!! And yes, you bet that'south my worst behavior as an adult. Deny, pretend it's not there, if I don't think about it it will get away.....
My exhusband used to say I was like an ostrich and would stick my caput in the sand when things got tough.
This is a great thread...really makes yous think.
t
May 5, 2005
three:50 pm
jastypes
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Stick with me, Charlie, and maybe we can get better together. I'll put C.R. in the championship of my Celebrate Recovery threads and we can work these steps as part of our support for one another.
jill
May 5, 2005
4:00 pm
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Hi, thanks for that! I volition await out for your posts.
I suddenly felt as though I had written besides much in that location. It sounds similar I am a complete nut!!!! Even to me!!! : )
Part of my problem was the same as tracylyn wrote - denial. Then at that place are lots of people in my life who have no idea I fight with all this internal stuff. Another affair I learnt as a child was that 'one should always keep upwardly appearances'!!!!!!!
Hah Hah Hah!!!!!!
~honey charlie~
May 5, 2005
4:42 pm
jastypes
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Interesting isn't it that this question comes under the heading of DENIAL in my recovery guide book. Hmmmm. Look 'til you see the next question!
May 5, 2005
half dozen:56 pm
EJ_Alfred
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Actually interesting thread!
I call back my two main coping skills were denial and...I'g non sure what you lot'd phone call the other. Lying I gauge.
My parents worked a lot when I was younger, and then I was left in charge of myself and my sister near of the fourth dimension. When we had bullies, I would fight them...however when we were around our parents we were expected be 'mini adults', so we never told them about whatever problems we had.
Practice yous think the skills we learned every bit kids might take 'led' us to being Codependent?
May v, 2005
8:44 pm
Rasputin
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Jastypes,
Thank you for this smart thread!
Equally a kid existence brough upward with emotionally-unavailable mom, I had so many unhealthy coping skills or defence force mechanism, such as day-dreaming, denial, suppression/repression, withdrawal.
As an developed, I would escape my problems by existence workaholic, perfectionist, pouting, passive-ambitious. All these negative coping skills could lead to depression, poor-self-image. No wonder we turned very soon into Co-dependent people.
At present, I accept come a long mode. Simply, information technology was really painful walking through all these unhealthy behavior patterns.
Love,
Source: https://www.allaboutcounseling.com/forum/general-support/as-a-child-what-coping-skills/
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